didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
