I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
