Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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