also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
