The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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