Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
