She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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