I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
