There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
