let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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