marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Terrible idea I love it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
