He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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