You're my little dorito
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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