So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
