Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
