I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
