He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
