Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize