Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize