My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this boner is exhausting
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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