I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my being single is dangerous.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
