I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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