oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
