i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize