Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
