Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You were trust falling into bushes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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