it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
