"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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