I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
