There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think pants incapable of making pants work
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
