yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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