her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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