I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
