Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
