The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
