Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
