dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
