Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
