At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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