Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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