Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
