1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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