I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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