Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
