Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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