I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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