Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off

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(813): View more from Florida

running late. just ran over a dude on a bike

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(952): View more from Minnesota

my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(510): View more from California

EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!

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(567): View more from Ohio

She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs

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(931): View more from Tennessee

And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.

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(386): View more from Florida

ELLEHCIM

(386): View more from Florida

NYRMAK

(386): View more from Florida

DRAHCIR

(1-386): View more from Florida

WHAT??

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt

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