She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She needs sedatives and a leash
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself