Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
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First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
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I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"