Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect. http://tfl.nu/l0ek
  Replies (58) Good night (9383) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service. http://tfl.nu/dlye
  Replies (89) Good night (11535) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook http://tfl.nu/v6tz
  Replies (12) Good night (694) Bad night (3996)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far? http://tfl.nu/ph4e
  Replies (59) Good night (6100) Bad night (1403)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night. http://tfl.nu/upkg
  Replies (25) Good night (10615) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"? http://tfl.nu/sml3
  Replies (20) Good night (4963) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban
  Replies (28) Good night (8946) Bad night (1514)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear. http://tfl.nu/2r4l
  Replies (18) Good night (7935) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever. http://tfl.nu/k2hn
  Replies (91) Good night (1905) Bad night (24859)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different. http://tfl.nu/qt7m
  Replies (15) Good night (2728) Bad night (1653)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex http://tfl.nu/5anx
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins. http://tfl.nu/ixo6
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit. http://tfl.nu/bdar
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON! http://tfl.nu/p0kv
  Replies (0) Good night (253) Bad night (346)

Randomize