so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
