somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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