I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
