Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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