Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
