we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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