i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
