Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
