I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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