Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
True but thats because hes a fetus.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
