just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
